Saturday, December 3, 2011

Contributions of a Perverted nature

Briefly, I would like to announce that I am now quest blogging for ChicagoPervert!

I have settled in nicely, and I would like to invite you all to read, comment, and follow my ramblings on a kink filled world with your host: Minion.

Monday, November 7, 2011

The Masochist Game

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 18

Q: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?

A: After four years in the scene, one huge pet peeve stands out in my mind. It is one that I have struggled with myself before I became confident in my submission. That would be something I like to call the "masochist game." It's a mental mind game that submissive persons have a tendency to engage in that could result in negative emotions, unrealistic goals, and unsatisfactory play sessions.

The masochist game usually starts with a phrase, one that begins to eat away at the confidence of the submissive. For example: "I can't take as much (x) as he/she can." Or "I'm not into pain, does that make me a bad submissive?" Also, quite possibly, "I wish I could be able to take (x)." All of which could undermine confidence and self esteem as a submissive.

It takes time, experience, and practice (mentally) to understand we all have positive qualities. Those are the qualities that should be praised and highly regarded. Instead of digging at ourselves about the qualities, or pain tolerance we wish we could have, we must begin to accept submission for what it is, not what we think it should be based on what we read or see.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Tart in ChicagoLand

The tarty one is embarking on yet another road adventure, gleefully chaperoned by her faithful, furry side kick Britney Bear! Just two girls (technically: one girl, one bear) combing the landscape, wide eyed and bewildered, on their way to ChicagoLand.

It sounds like a fairy tale. Though the heroine of this tale is nothing like the innocently curious girl who stumbles down the rabbit hole. No, she is far less innocent, and even more curious by all Chicago has to offer.

Within 48 hours I will be in Chicago with a play friend spending a weekend away exploring new and exciting boundaries. Boundaries that may include:

Domestic service
Playing with sexual shame
Cigar play
Ashtray service
Forced smoke inhalation
Public masturbation
Consensual non-consent
I will be sure to indulge your curiosities when I am back in Michigan safe and sound. Also, after the major sub drop I know will occur has ceased.

Thursday, October 27, 2011


Sitting here, wanting. Waiting, but nothing comes. I am only left with the shadow of who I used to be, and who I wish I were. Sitting in the dark, lights flicker from the street like the neon of some old distant movie house. Now lonely and cold like I, alone and sorrowful. I wonder some nights, like this, if tomorrow will be as gray and distant as today?

Encouraged only by longing, I seek out higher planes of existence. Only they are my comfort from this dreary, damned soul. Through experience and love can I find my way back to the soft warm touch of the sun. Only then will I understand the meaning of happiness. The lack will wither and die like winter.

Something inside is stirring, as if the eternal rays of the sun were battling the cold gray of winter. Inside, I am longing for the warm breeze and hot touch of the sun. Inside me exists sad, worn metaphors with nothing left to offer. I ache. A smile is as happy as a bruise on my aging skin. It dies as my soul dies slowly from want.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Edenfantasys 80$ Gift Card Giveaway

Coming soon!

September 1st marks the start of my first month long contest open to all of Tumblr, not only my followers. The winner will receive an 80$ gift card to Edenfantasys, the sex shop you can trust!

Any purchase over 59$ will receive free shipping! It’s a double win!


Throughout the month of September I will post banners (^just like this^) in advertisement of Edenfantasys. It will also include information about my affiliate code (SK6). When the code is used it will gift any customer with 15% off their entire purchase.

In order to enter you must reblog a banner from Good Dollie (my Tumblr page) including all text provided. One reblog per day will be permitted. If the text is removed, or tampered with, the reblog will be excluded from my count.

To increase your chances of winning you may also send a message at any time, without limit, to my inbox at Good Dollie. Anonymous messages (even if they include your Tumblr link, etc.) will not be counted!

Are you excited? I know I am!!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 17

Q: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

A: BDSM is not abuse. I cannot stress that enough. It is a misconception held by many of those who do not understand it. I say: if you don’t get it, don’t like it, then don’t presume to have an opinion on it.

Odd thing about this image, I had chosen it months ago when I first started writing 30 days of kink. I never found black eyes to be particularly provocative, well not before I had one of my own, anyway. A black eye on a woman tends to be the red flag for “I’m a victim.” That is just an observation of American society, and it is a frame of mind that I gave into in the past. Especially coming from a background of abuse.

My first, and only black eye (I hope) emerged not from a fight, or abuse, but a scene. I did not intend for it to happen. It was a complete accident, and that is the truth. Yes, it was hard to ignore when I came back from the bubble of BDSM, where practically everyone knew the true story, to the haze of vanilla existence.

I felt proud, because it was epic. I felt damn lucky, because no bones were broken. I felt cautious, because I knew some if not most of the people who saw it would be thinking that I am abused. The last straw came from a stranger on Fetlife, where most of us don the umbrella slogan of “your kink is not my kink,” and move on with our lives. However, this stranger thought they would create a scene, within a scene, by announcing that the photo I had posted of my glaring statement of awesome to be abuse.

Accidents happen everywhere. In our world, precautions are taken to create a safe space for what we do, and sometimes precautions fall short. It does not mean that the scene, activity, or persons involved were unsafe. We live in an imperfect world, full of blunt objects. At some point, you’re bound to walk into one.

Monday, July 18, 2011

A degree of difficulty

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink 

Day 16

Q: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

A: I believe the hardest part is that I am interested in so many different aspects of the lifestyle that no one person can fulfill all of my needs. For the longest time, within the first year or so of my exploration, I lusted for the Top/Dom/Master who would fulfill all of my needs, and in turn I would serve him with pride and love.

Unfortunately, my interests vary so much that not one person can do it all. I like bondage, impact play, age play, etc., etc. For example: I met someone who was into spanking. He devoted himself to it almost completely, and had difficulty playing outside of that specific activity. So then what can I do when I want indulge in needle play? Sure, I can pool resources from the community to do it on the off time, and that is something I have done in the past, but what if my partner isn’t comfortable with that?

These are questions that plagued me. I felt guilty that I wanted to play with more than one person, to explore what I like with different personalities, and in different dynamics. It took four years until I became comfortable with non-monogamy. I’ve become comfortable with seeking out multiple play partners and often doing the same activity in different ways, or taking it a step further in intensity.

In general, individuals are pretty open to playing with other people, outside of a lasting relationship to educate, or just have fun. That isn’t an issue. However, the problem I have found is, how do I take that from an often casual play partner dynamic to a relationship, and still communicate my needs to play outside of the relationship? It’s something I have yet to be confronted by. It may be obvious by the amount of rhetorical questions in this response, that I am still not so sure myself.

Whoa, that was intense!

I just came back from Madtown Kinkfest in Madison, WI. It was wonderfully amazing.

I digress... during the course of the weekend, Saturday night to be exact, I managed to have an incredible scene involving some activities I had never encountered before. The theme of the scene was centered on molestation, abuse of power, and incest.

Leaving that alone (I understand that kind of play isn't for everyone, and don't want to go into specifics about the scene itself) it also involved a degree of verbal degradation, which I have never before used in play. I am usually the kind of player who enjoys encouraging, nurturing communication.

For this scene however, that kind of language would have been totally inappropriate. He used a large degree of physical force to get me to submit, and after a while, I was exhausted. I fought him as hard as I could, but even I have a breaking point. As I lay there, motionless, breathing heavy, unable to resist him any longer; he leaned in against me and whispered "right, just lay there. You can't fight anymore because you are weak, useless, worthless."

Those words in context to the scene made me feel even more ashamed at what I was letting him do to me. I was on the verge of tears several times because I indeed felt weak, but I couldn't let him see. I told myself if I let him hear or see me cry that it would motivate him to do this over and over again, that he would know he could, because I am a vulnerable, pathetic victim. It was really emotionally challenging and intense for me. It took me to a deep level of subspace that I couldn't escape.

It took a while before I could actually open my eyes and talk to him. Even then as I lay there beside him I didn't feel fully conscious. I believe the abuse of power and physical nature of the scene really got to me. I want to do this kind of play even more. I like to be active physically, and the use of force is something that I instantly fell in love with. I like the struggle, and drama of it.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Fulfilled by energy

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink 

Day 15

Inquiry: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

Response: Flesh pull is an activity that isn’t necessarily kink related. Honestly, I am unaware of the sensation, or the motivation, but I’ve heard from those who have experienced it that it is highly emotional and filled with energy. I hope someday in the future I can look into it more, and fulfill this yearning.

I am drawn to energy that fulfills me. I enjoy hypnosis, energy play, and emotional play that is spiritually cathartic, and also a part of my growth as a human being. I believe doing a flesh pull would be a glorious part of my journey, and something I would never forget. I’ve decided to take my time, research, and look inward to find the strength to do this.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Fantasy VS Reality

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 14

Q: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

A: Fantasy and reality in relation to BDSM is the difference between daylight and twilight. Fantasy is perfection; I can be whoever I wish to be, in any period, or any setting to fulfill my sexual desires. However; in reality, play is in the present, setting is rather fixed depending on personal taste (outdoors, inside, public party), and I am as I am playing in the head space I choose.

Though it may sound mundane in comparison, real life BDSM is so deeply enriching, and exciting, that I can hardly compare it at all. Sure, I can’t be an elven princess on the outside, but I can play in that head space during role play with a partner if I choose. I explored desires and scenarios in fantasy that I wanted to experience in real life. It took me a few years to become active in the BDSM scene, but once I took the leap from fantasy to real life, I realized it is where I belong.

It all begins in fantasy. I began fantasizing about certain aspects of D/s before I ever knew the term. It took a while to become confident enough to explore real life BDSM, figure out what I really wanted, and now that I am involved in a lot of real life play, I still have fantasies that I wish to fulfill. It’s a cycle, and once a fantasy is fulfilled, I try it again, often including aspects of other fetishes I enjoy. For me, it’s about playing with my fantasies and desires to make my real life play intoxicating and satisfying.

Sunday, May 15, 2011


The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 13

Q: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

A: I adore the aftermath. When all is said and done; when my body is seizing, throat hoarse from screaming, cheeks stained with tears, when he takes me into his arms to hold me, tell me I am beautiful, that is all I need. Whatever happened in scene is over. It may have been magical, awful, fulfilling, but being held during that sensation of vulnerability satisfies my most basic need.

My enjoyment of intense scenes creates a need for deep emotional connection during and afterward. Aftercare is the best way to remind myself, and let someone else remind me that I am “okay,” and he isn't going to abandon me in my vulnerable state.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Make 'Em Laugh!

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 12

Inquiry: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

Response: Some dungeons like to play ‘kink-related’ music. For the most part I don’t mind it, and in some cases I love it. Even though I hardly ever use it to enhance a scene, music can really get me in the mood to play, especially if it has a deep bass. Sometimes dungeons run out of good ideas. They have Disturbed, Depeche Mode, and usually need to add a few ‘kink-related’ tracks to the mix.

That can be fun, totally appropriate, and hilarious considering the context. Such as my latest dungeon rendezvous. My partner and I were winding down from a scene. He had started untying my wrists and ankles from the spanking bench, and I was spaced out in subbie-goo land. Laying there as the track turned, P!nk’s “Raise Your Glass” started playing, and I started laughing. In my head, I thought, “seriously?” I couldn’t contain myself. He noticed the song, or my laughter, or both, and started laughing as well. Now, whenever I hear that song, I smile, and think of his bites.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


I trust him in a way that is so natural, unlike anything I have ever experienced before. We have been dating for a couple of weeks now and the anticipation is killing me. He has been teasing me all night, cupping my ass as we dance, nuzzling, whispering sweetly into my ear. My panties are already soaked and we haven’t even left the club. He got a room at the hotel for the evening where we could explore each other without the hindrance of the outside world. It would become a shelter in which our fantasies would become reality.

We have been talking about our fantasies for weeks, enough to drive me insane with wild thoughts of my hands bound, helpless, completely at his mercy. He wanted to drive me crazy. He wanted me to need him so much that I can’t stand it. The control he has over my body is baffling. I wanted to drag him out of this chaotic club and into the warm seclusion of our secret chamber.

He took my hand and smiled softly. I wish I knew what went on inside that sadistic mind of his. Slowly, he walked me out the double doors of the club and along the hallway to the metallic elevator doors. He glanced back and forth, so subtly I didn’t even notice until he pushed me up against the wall suddenly. Bewildered, I frantically looked to see if anyone had been watching. He was only looking at me, to see the fear and excitement in my eyes. He held my chin steadily in his large beautiful hand, forcing me to look up into his face. Not a word could express what he expected of me. I closed my eyes and in a fraction of a moment his lips were on mine. My thighs spread and he enveloped my body, extinguishing the space between us. I could feel his chest against mine, his pulsing cock under his jeans rubbing against my wet panties.

I heard the ding of the elevators arrival. We broke briefly, my heart pounding, eyes glazed. Not a soul spewed from the elevator. I felt as if we were the only people left on earth. Again he took me by the wrist and guided me into the elevator, pushed the button for the fourth floor, and leaned casually against the wall. I lunged at him again, wanting more sweet kisses from his soft lips. He simply said “no” in a calm manner. I pouted but complied. Standing there beside him, an eternity seemed to pass as the elevator climbed upward. He put his hand on the small of my back, softly caressing, watching me the entire time but my eyes were on the doors. They opened and I waited for him to initiate my next move. He pushed gently at my back, beckoning me to walk forward and out into the hall. We walked side my side, his hand traveling up my back toward my neck, holding me gently, his fingers gliding into my hair.

At the door to our room I waited as he unlocked the door and brought me inside. I surveyed the room as he turned the lock of the door. It made an audible click as it locked into place. Gold covered the room. It specked the duvet on the enormous king sized bed, the furniture accented with glittering golden throw pillows. Enamored by the room, I became distracted, but felt centered and whole as I felt his body against mine again. He unzipped the backing of my dress achingly slow. He kissed and caressed my shoulders, his teeth sinking in briefly, causing me to sigh and lean back against him. When he had completely unzipped the dress he circled me in his arms. His fingers clawed at the gown, now loose on my body, pushing and tugging until it fell to the floor around my stilettos.

He roamed freely now; over my almost naked body, fingering the lace of my bra, pushing against it to cup my breast, teasing the already hard nipple. His other hand rubbed at my cleft, growling warmly against my ear when he felt the wetness. “Are you ready?” he whispered. I whimpered in reply. How confident I was only an hour ago, when I thought I was in control. He makes me forget about control. It is insignificant when I am in his arms.

Let's get ethical!

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 11

Q: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

A: Most of the time I wing it, but if there isn’t mutual pleasure within a scene or relationship, I’m not going to participate. I’ve learned over time, that it isn’t worth putting time and energy into a scene if I am not going to enjoy it. That is a rare case, but that type of negotiation begins with straight forward communication of wants, and expectations of a scene. I must admit, I am not the best at communicating what I want, but I can communicate what I don’t want. “No” is a highly effective word, and it settles things pretty quickly.

I’ve had experiences in the scene were I should have said “no,” and I didn’t. It frustrates me, but honestly; I wouldn’t know how important saying “no” is without those experiences. I believe my experiences have empowered me to recognize what is ethical for me. Cleaning up someone else’s scene is not ethical to me. Being the proverbial punching bag for someone else’s enjoyment is not ethical to me. Keeping silent when something has gone past my comfort level is not ethical to me.

On the flip side of that, I go out of my way to tell my partners that our scene was enjoyable. I let them know verbally and sometimes non verbally that the scene was enjoyable, pleasurable, and that I hope it was for them as well. The result of a negative experience tends to narrow the amount of communication I have with that person, so I make sure to communicate positive experiences, especially to the person I experience them with.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 10

Q: What are your hard limits?

A: When I first started out in the scene I had a multitude of hard limits. I had a narrow vision of what I wanted, some of which I had never experienced, and what I absolutely did not want. As I have grown in the lifestyle my limits have changed. I have attempted, and accepted supposed limits as what they are or modified them to my liking. For example: cutting, and bleeding used to be hard limits. After pondering my interest in knife play, and accepting the possibility of getting cut during play, I realized blood was no longer a limit for me. I accepted the risk of bleeding for my fetish. 

By using a negotiation checklist I could easily scale activities from 0 (limit) to 5 (Yes!!). It made negotiation easier, and the lists are so inclusive, that I was confronted with activities/fetishes/items I found unfamiliar, such as: persona training, abrasion, and pony play. By exploring the unknowns I have found other areas of play that I enjoy, and have begun to appreciate the wide range of kinks and fetishes in the community at large.

For the most part, my hard limits have remained constant. What I define as a hard limit is an activity/fetish/item that I cannot imagine myself utilizing, or find personally harmful. When it comes to feces play, I categorize it as a hard limit because of the multitude of passable diseases that could affect my life in a harmful way. I don't want to pass judgment on those who have these interests, I only know they are not my interests. I’ve compiled a list of my hard limits for the sake of convenience:
  • Asphyxiation
  • Brown showers (anything to do with scat)
  • Beastiality
  • Diapers (wetting/soiling)
  • Anal fisting
  • Forced smoking (long term)
  • Full head hoods
  • Golden showers (anything to do with urine)
  • Rimming (giving)
  • Injections
  • Prostitution (actual)
  • Body Modification (permanent)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 9

Inquiry: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

Response: I've chosen “Corrupt” by Depeche Mode. Click to listen to the audio file via Good Dollie, my Tumblr blog.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

What Dollie wants, Dollie gets

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 8

Inquiry: Post a kinky image you find erotic.

Response: This is what my Tumblr blog is all about! I post photos, related to BDSM and kink, and other media that excites me. Take a peek: Good Dollie

I believe this image greatly portrays what I want in a relationship. No matter the dynamic; whether it's 24/7, just in the bedroom, weekends, etc. I want to be Master's slave, ready and willing to succumb to his desires. I crave it.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

My Service Resume

The service resume. It is a resume: a culmination of talents, gifts, or traits, that I am able to offer as a submissive to a prospective dominant, top, switch, etc. It is something that is continually updated, just like a business resume. Like a business resume, references would be helpful as well. It can be simple, or elaborate, depending on personality and style. I wanted to share mine as an example, and to mark my progress.

What I am offering the dominant of my choice.

I am honest. That might be a trait that is over looked in society, but it is a value that is very important to me.

I am intelligent. I may make mistakes, but I learn quickly. I excel in mathematics, communications, and I know my way around a computer.

I love with my whole heart. I care deeply for my friends and family. Often I care so much for others that I forget to care for myself.

I make goals and I stick with them. I am still in college. I transferred to a community college after a year in an expensive private college. Even though my first attempt failed, I am still taking classes for my degree. I don’t believe anything would stop me from reaching that goal.

I am a masochistic submissive. I enjoy painful sensation as a part of my service.

I am a sexual being. In a relationship I give myself fully, sexually, and emotionally. I am also comfortable in overt and covert sexual situations.

I am detailed oriented. I follow orders and expectations set for relationships as well as play sessions.


The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 7

Q: What’s your favorite toy?

A: My favorite is the single tail whip. It leaves beautiful marks whether it's used softly or harshly, and they tend to stay for a couple of days. Being a total bruise whore, I am comforted by this. I love to photograph it and watch it as it heals.

The sensation is intense, and cathartic. It's one of the first toys I ever felt. At first it scared the hell out of me. I though the sensation was too much for me, being so newly introduced to BDSM. As I grew in the lifestyle I learned to appreciate it more and more.

One scene in particular, my first hard whip scene, made me shy away from whips. It was done by someone outside the state who I had never met, and didn't feel totally confident in. My ass was very close to bleeding from the intensity. I feel that it went a little overboard, and that the Dom was too into the feel of the whip in his hand than making sure I was alright with how far he pushed.

Since that experience I grew cautious with whip play. Then I met someone who helped me to enjoy the pain and torture of the whip. He started rather soft, and has been building up the intensity as I grow more comfortable. It's amazing how differently I feel about whips now, compared to when I first started.

Friday, April 29, 2011

The Quickie

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 6

Inquiry: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

“Hurry, princess, or else we’ll be caught!”

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, it’s the office quickie. Nothing excites me more than the sight of a man in suit and tie. The power and dominance that exudes from a clean shaven man in a suit and tie is like a fragrance that draws me dangerously. I hover like a moth to the flame. Is it hot in here?

The quickie is covert in nature, which really get’s me hot, and the excitement of it intoxicates me. I want to get caught, but I don’t. It’s conflicting, confusing, and raw. Crawling on hands and knees under the desk, begging to service a man who holds power over me, just thinking about it makes me shiver.

Thursday, April 28, 2011


The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 5

Q: What was your first kinky sexual experience?

A: I jumped into the deep end of the pool. I traveled hundreds of miles to experience BDSM for the first time. Quite a few years ago, I was invited to spend the weekend with a friend in Massachusetts to attend an event in Rhode Island. My introduction was carried out rather casually during a private play party.

My first experience involved a man, a flogger, and an empty room. No doubt I was nervous, but over a period of time I had trusted him enough to let this happen. Thinking back on that experience I can only say that it electrified me. I loved everything about it. He is an amazing man, who taught me so much in a short amount of time, and helped me to understand what I wanted from the lifestyle.

Even though our relationship didn’t last, I continue to build upon the foundation he started. By teaching me to experience anything and everything that I could, to not be limited, I have found out so much about myself and how I experience pleasure. He coached me to be confident in myself, and my abilities as a submissive. For that I will always be grateful.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011


The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 4

Q: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

A: My response may offend, or even repulse some. I wanted to be as honest as possible, and didn’t want to make up a memory, or lead anyone to believe that I was an innocent child. Not in any stretch of the imagination.

I do have one particular memory in mind. I read rather mature magazines as a young girl. I first read Teen and Cosmo Girl around the age of 10. I liked reading the articles on fashion, make up, and relationships. It made me feel grown up to read those kind of magazines.

One article in particular stays with me to this day. It was based on an interview of a young woman who was molested and raped by her father. It was my first introduction to sex, even though it was obviously non-consensual, but I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I remember reading it for the first time, and reading it again, and again. I won’t deny that it aroused me. At that age I couldn’t even imagine how I would feel if it had happened to me.

I didn’t want to be molested, and I don’t want to be raped, but I eroticized the power of the father. It’s one of the first masturbatory scenarios I actually remember. The control, and abuse of power of the scenario turned me on. I believe the article sparked fantasies of rape, and gives some explanation to why I choose to engage in Daddy/little girl play scenes.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I knew

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 3

Q: How did you discover you were kinky?

A: I like to tell those who ask that I discovered my spanking fetish after watching Secretary. It’s a quick, easy response that I give when asked causally at a play party or munch. Not to get too personal, but I had the same problem as Maggie’s character, Lee. I hardly ever go into detail about my experiences, but most seem to understand when I respond with “have you seen Secretary?”

Truthfully, I knew much earlier, before I ever saw the film. The film just encouraged my behavior. I’m not sure how old I was. I only know I was in 7th grade at the time. I remember going down to the local cyber cafe with a girl friend to check our MySpace accounts. I had made a friend in the UK who was much older than me, and he and I chatted about our sexual interests.

Among our discussions, our mutual fantasies of bondage and power exchange surfaced. I knew then that what I wanted was not “typical,” but I was really apprehensive about knowing more, and put off further exploration until I turned 18. To give a straight answer, I knew from a very young age, I just didn’t know what it meant.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Kinks on Parade!

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 2

Inquiry: List your kinks.

Response: Alright. I hate lists (for the most part) but I shall list my kinks for you. You know that this means I will need a definition of kink. Oh, you have one? Well, splendid!

"Kink-y 2. Slang of or relating to eccentric sexual practices." Hrm, well that doesn’t sound too positive. What about fetish?
"Fet-ish 2. An object of excessive attention or reverence. 3. An obsessive attachment: fixation." Not too shabby. Whatever you call them, here they are: my kinks, fetishes, and current interests.
  • collar and leash
  • biting
  • Daddy/little girl
  • whipping
  • rope bondage
  • choking
  • spanking
  • medical skin stapling
  • leather corsets
  • stun guns
  • flogging
So, I have a list. A list doesn’t give much insight into why I like what I like. It saves time, for sure, but It only exposes a snap shot of my lifestyle life. Intricate details about my interests can only be found out by engaging with me, talking to me, playing with me. I’m hardly shy. I’ll talk about just about anything with just about anyone.

Sunday, April 24, 2011


I'm doing it! I have found the elusive 30 Days of Kink, via Kari Rose, and I'm starting now! I'm way too excited to wait. 

Day 1

Q: Dom, sub, switch? 

A: Here's the thing. I identify as a switch, but when it comes down to it, I'm submissive. That may sound contradictory, or even confusing, but it's true. In a relationship I rather submit than dominate. It is where I feel whole.

Q: What parts of BDSM interest you?

A: I've been fascinated by many aspects of BDSM since I started over two years ago, but today I am more interested in the protecting aspects of a D/s relationship. I crave the security of a D/s relationship with someone who is nurturing and protective. The power exchange of a D/s relationship mixed with compassion and love really interests me.

Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you.

To me: BDSM is power exchange. It is control, influence, decision making held over another human being. It can manifest itself in many forms which I may not be interested in myself, but I know from experience that there are other journeys, paths in BDSM, and I respect that.

Basically define your kinky self for us.

I am two sides of the same coin. I am a masochist, and I am also a little. I have yet to engage both personalities at the same time. The little in me loves to color, watch Disney cartoons, cuddle with stuffed animals, but the masochist wants pain. I wouldn't say that these personalities conflict, but co-exist.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Tart experiences medical stapling!

I just recently received the photos from the stapling scene I did in Detroit. The expression on my face in the photos is amazingly blissful. I look stoned, strung out on the endorphins from the rush of pain and excitement. Looking at them brings back a flood of memories. It’s almost a contact high remembering the sensation of the staples piercing my skin, the intoxication of the endorphins rushing into my blood stream, and the beauty that I felt being a canvas mounted with ribbon and steel. After my experience, medical stapling is now one of my new favorite activities.

I met Mr. about two hours into the play party. We had negotiated the scene online and I remember being on pins and needle awaiting his arrival. Thank goodness I had some time before the stapling to get in on an amazing whip scene with a very dear friend. That kept me occupied for some time! When he came through the doors I thought I would go insane with all the pent up anticipation.

Mr. had a large assortment of ribbon just for me! It was really sweet that he wanted to make my first experience special. He asked me what colors and what type of ribbon I wanted to use for the corset. I had my choice of packaging ribbon of assorted colors, and metallic ribbon that could be conducted with the violet wand. I had my sights on trying it out with the violet wand so I chose a shimmering red and pink metallic ribbon. He put down a plastic sheet in case things got messy, gave me a short pep talk about what kind of sensation I might experience when the staple went in, and other preparatory information. Finally, I laid down on my back, and he proceeded to staple from below my collarbone down my breast toward my nipple.

The sensation felt like a tight pinch as the staple went in and then a quick release. He stapled down one tit and then the next. I began to breath slower, each staple an impact that crept deep inside me, the endorphins buzzed through my body. He then started lacing up the staples with ribbon, and the sensation of the ribbon tugging gently at the staples is just as amazing. After he finished I couldn't keep my hands off them. I tapped on them, tugged at the ribbon, and wiggled the stapled back in forth, exploring the sensations.

I have tried needles in the past, and they had close to no effect on me. I thought this experience would be much of the same sensation, enjoyable but not pleasurable. I found my experience to be the exact opposite. It was extremely pleasurable, and took me higher than I could have ever imagined. I wanted to share this as a way of thanking so many people who helped me along the way. The wonderful couple who sent me the staple gun and remover free of charge, as well as Mr., who let me experience something outside of my "skill set" in a safe and secure environment. 

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Thank you

All that shone that night was a red light in the upper left corner of the room. I opened my eyes and all I could see was red. Violent red walls like red shadows closing in around me. His figure was hidden from my gaze, as he stood behind me, but I could feel his presence. Especially when he drew close to my side and brushed his lips against my neck. I shuddered as he chuckled, the arrogant bastard that he is. He could smell my fear; it radiated from my flesh.

He tucked the whip under his arm, and I could feel the leather rub against my bare back. Then I felt the touch of his soft yet callused fingers graze my shoulders. I moaned deeply as his nails dug into my flesh. I knew he loved the sounds that I made when he touched me, my cunt willingly moist while my brain struggled to resist. He knows me so well it’s disgusting. At that moment he commanded that I open my thighs as his hand traveled down my spine to grip my ass and cup my cunt from behind, making me sick to my stomach with fear and lust.

“Just do it already,” I said nastily, unable to bear this anticipation any longer. I squirmed against his touch as he pushed two fingers into me in response. Not the kind I had expected or wanted, nonetheless, a deft response. I cried out as he whispered into my ear the horrific ideas blooming inside his sadistic mind. He pinched my cunt lip and backed away from me. My hands were bound high on the wall to secure any thoughts against escape.

He drew back his hand, uncoiling the treated leather of the whip, now tough and taught from use. Before I heard the first crack from his skilled hand I closed my eyes and sucked air deep into my lungs, preparing for the pain and joy that awaited me in this frightening room. The first crack was only a warning, that he had found his mindset and I should ready myself for the coming strokes of his whip. I exhaled and counted in my head: 1… 2…3.

The first caress of the whip was like a kiss on my back. I took a deep breath and released it from my parted lips with a moan. I pressed myself against the wall to stick out my ass; it would soon become his target. His hands were skilled and he wielded his whip with precision. The cracker pelted my flesh over and over again causing me to whimper and moan as the sensation continued to build.

The final snap of his wrist sent me over the edge. I breathed a sigh of relief as I felt his body press against me, caressing my thighs, and brushing away the sweat drenched hair from my neck. His lips were warm and welcomed when he kissed me tenderly on the shoulder. Before he untied my wrists he leaned in and whispered “thank you.”

Saturday, January 8, 2011

An amazing gift

Cabin fever is here. I am stuck in my grandparent’s house for the remainder of my Christmas holiday. I can’t wait to get out of this place and back on the road! A new, very dear friend of mine has invited me to her collaring ceremony on the 15th in Detroit. However, I must say that I am more excited than usual because this will be the first night that I will experience medical stapling.

Soon after watching the Kink Academy’s video demo on stapling I have been completely fascinated. Needles seem too high maintenance to have my own kit, and I don't actually know many people in my community who do needle play. What I have learned about staples seems to be more my speed. They only puncture so deep, not enough to do any permanent damage. Stapling seems to go a lot faster with less pain than needles as well. On my way out of town I need to pick up a bit of ribbon since I want to have a ribbon corset down my back. Unfortunately, pictures are not allowed within the building, but the experience itself will be amazing.

I mentioned that I was curious about stapling on a Fetlife forum. The responses that were posted afterward informed me that the staple gun should be used on one person only. I then decided I would purchase my own staple gun and remover to be used on me at the party. Soon after I began searching the web for staple sellers both in the community and not, I received an amazing message in response to my forum post. A woman from Allen Park, who was a stranger to me, told me that she would send me a sterile gun and remover. At first I didn't know what to say, but I eventually accepted her kind offer.

The staple gun and remover arrived today! I want to thank the person who sent it to me ten fold. It blows my mind that people in the community can be so kind, and generous, especially to complete strangers. That is definitely one of the things that I love about this lifestyle.