Saturday, April 30, 2011

My Service Resume

The service resume. It is a resume: a culmination of talents, gifts, or traits, that I am able to offer as a submissive to a prospective dominant, top, switch, etc. It is something that is continually updated, just like a business resume. Like a business resume, references would be helpful as well. It can be simple, or elaborate, depending on personality and style. I wanted to share mine as an example, and to mark my progress.

What I am offering the dominant of my choice.

I am honest. That might be a trait that is over looked in society, but it is a value that is very important to me.

I am intelligent. I may make mistakes, but I learn quickly. I excel in mathematics, communications, and I know my way around a computer.

I love with my whole heart. I care deeply for my friends and family. Often I care so much for others that I forget to care for myself.

I make goals and I stick with them. I am still in college. I transferred to a community college after a year in an expensive private college. Even though my first attempt failed, I am still taking classes for my degree. I don’t believe anything would stop me from reaching that goal.

I am a masochistic submissive. I enjoy painful sensation as a part of my service.

I am a sexual being. In a relationship I give myself fully, sexually, and emotionally. I am also comfortable in overt and covert sexual situations.

I am detailed oriented. I follow orders and expectations set for relationships as well as play sessions.


The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 7

Q: What’s your favorite toy?

A: My favorite is the single tail whip. It leaves beautiful marks whether it's used softly or harshly, and they tend to stay for a couple of days. Being a total bruise whore, I am comforted by this. I love to photograph it and watch it as it heals.

The sensation is intense, and cathartic. It's one of the first toys I ever felt. At first it scared the hell out of me. I though the sensation was too much for me, being so newly introduced to BDSM. As I grew in the lifestyle I learned to appreciate it more and more.

One scene in particular, my first hard whip scene, made me shy away from whips. It was done by someone outside the state who I had never met, and didn't feel totally confident in. My ass was very close to bleeding from the intensity. I feel that it went a little overboard, and that the Dom was too into the feel of the whip in his hand than making sure I was alright with how far he pushed.

Since that experience I grew cautious with whip play. Then I met someone who helped me to enjoy the pain and torture of the whip. He started rather soft, and has been building up the intensity as I grow more comfortable. It's amazing how differently I feel about whips now, compared to when I first started.

Friday, April 29, 2011

The Quickie

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 6

Inquiry: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

“Hurry, princess, or else we’ll be caught!”

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, it’s the office quickie. Nothing excites me more than the sight of a man in suit and tie. The power and dominance that exudes from a clean shaven man in a suit and tie is like a fragrance that draws me dangerously. I hover like a moth to the flame. Is it hot in here?

The quickie is covert in nature, which really get’s me hot, and the excitement of it intoxicates me. I want to get caught, but I don’t. It’s conflicting, confusing, and raw. Crawling on hands and knees under the desk, begging to service a man who holds power over me, just thinking about it makes me shiver.

Thursday, April 28, 2011


The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 5

Q: What was your first kinky sexual experience?

A: I jumped into the deep end of the pool. I traveled hundreds of miles to experience BDSM for the first time. Quite a few years ago, I was invited to spend the weekend with a friend in Massachusetts to attend an event in Rhode Island. My introduction was carried out rather casually during a private play party.

My first experience involved a man, a flogger, and an empty room. No doubt I was nervous, but over a period of time I had trusted him enough to let this happen. Thinking back on that experience I can only say that it electrified me. I loved everything about it. He is an amazing man, who taught me so much in a short amount of time, and helped me to understand what I wanted from the lifestyle.

Even though our relationship didn’t last, I continue to build upon the foundation he started. By teaching me to experience anything and everything that I could, to not be limited, I have found out so much about myself and how I experience pleasure. He coached me to be confident in myself, and my abilities as a submissive. For that I will always be grateful.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011


The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 4

Q: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

A: My response may offend, or even repulse some. I wanted to be as honest as possible, and didn’t want to make up a memory, or lead anyone to believe that I was an innocent child. Not in any stretch of the imagination.

I do have one particular memory in mind. I read rather mature magazines as a young girl. I first read Teen and Cosmo Girl around the age of 10. I liked reading the articles on fashion, make up, and relationships. It made me feel grown up to read those kind of magazines.

One article in particular stays with me to this day. It was based on an interview of a young woman who was molested and raped by her father. It was my first introduction to sex, even though it was obviously non-consensual, but I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I remember reading it for the first time, and reading it again, and again. I won’t deny that it aroused me. At that age I couldn’t even imagine how I would feel if it had happened to me.

I didn’t want to be molested, and I don’t want to be raped, but I eroticized the power of the father. It’s one of the first masturbatory scenarios I actually remember. The control, and abuse of power of the scenario turned me on. I believe the article sparked fantasies of rape, and gives some explanation to why I choose to engage in Daddy/little girl play scenes.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I knew

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 3

Q: How did you discover you were kinky?

A: I like to tell those who ask that I discovered my spanking fetish after watching Secretary. It’s a quick, easy response that I give when asked causally at a play party or munch. Not to get too personal, but I had the same problem as Maggie’s character, Lee. I hardly ever go into detail about my experiences, but most seem to understand when I respond with “have you seen Secretary?”

Truthfully, I knew much earlier, before I ever saw the film. The film just encouraged my behavior. I’m not sure how old I was. I only know I was in 7th grade at the time. I remember going down to the local cyber cafe with a girl friend to check our MySpace accounts. I had made a friend in the UK who was much older than me, and he and I chatted about our sexual interests.

Among our discussions, our mutual fantasies of bondage and power exchange surfaced. I knew then that what I wanted was not “typical,” but I was really apprehensive about knowing more, and put off further exploration until I turned 18. To give a straight answer, I knew from a very young age, I just didn’t know what it meant.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Kinks on Parade!

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 2

Inquiry: List your kinks.

Response: Alright. I hate lists (for the most part) but I shall list my kinks for you. You know that this means I will need a definition of kink. Oh, you have one? Well, splendid!

"Kink-y 2. Slang of or relating to eccentric sexual practices." Hrm, well that doesn’t sound too positive. What about fetish?
"Fet-ish 2. An object of excessive attention or reverence. 3. An obsessive attachment: fixation." Not too shabby. Whatever you call them, here they are: my kinks, fetishes, and current interests.
  • collar and leash
  • biting
  • Daddy/little girl
  • whipping
  • rope bondage
  • choking
  • spanking
  • medical skin stapling
  • leather corsets
  • stun guns
  • flogging
So, I have a list. A list doesn’t give much insight into why I like what I like. It saves time, for sure, but It only exposes a snap shot of my lifestyle life. Intricate details about my interests can only be found out by engaging with me, talking to me, playing with me. I’m hardly shy. I’ll talk about just about anything with just about anyone.

Sunday, April 24, 2011


I'm doing it! I have found the elusive 30 Days of Kink, via Kari Rose, and I'm starting now! I'm way too excited to wait. 

Day 1

Q: Dom, sub, switch? 

A: Here's the thing. I identify as a switch, but when it comes down to it, I'm submissive. That may sound contradictory, or even confusing, but it's true. In a relationship I rather submit than dominate. It is where I feel whole.

Q: What parts of BDSM interest you?

A: I've been fascinated by many aspects of BDSM since I started over two years ago, but today I am more interested in the protecting aspects of a D/s relationship. I crave the security of a D/s relationship with someone who is nurturing and protective. The power exchange of a D/s relationship mixed with compassion and love really interests me.

Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you.

To me: BDSM is power exchange. It is control, influence, decision making held over another human being. It can manifest itself in many forms which I may not be interested in myself, but I know from experience that there are other journeys, paths in BDSM, and I respect that.

Basically define your kinky self for us.

I am two sides of the same coin. I am a masochist, and I am also a little. I have yet to engage both personalities at the same time. The little in me loves to color, watch Disney cartoons, cuddle with stuffed animals, but the masochist wants pain. I wouldn't say that these personalities conflict, but co-exist.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Tart experiences medical stapling!

I just recently received the photos from the stapling scene I did in Detroit. The expression on my face in the photos is amazingly blissful. I look stoned, strung out on the endorphins from the rush of pain and excitement. Looking at them brings back a flood of memories. It’s almost a contact high remembering the sensation of the staples piercing my skin, the intoxication of the endorphins rushing into my blood stream, and the beauty that I felt being a canvas mounted with ribbon and steel. After my experience, medical stapling is now one of my new favorite activities.

I met Mr. about two hours into the play party. We had negotiated the scene online and I remember being on pins and needle awaiting his arrival. Thank goodness I had some time before the stapling to get in on an amazing whip scene with a very dear friend. That kept me occupied for some time! When he came through the doors I thought I would go insane with all the pent up anticipation.

Mr. had a large assortment of ribbon just for me! It was really sweet that he wanted to make my first experience special. He asked me what colors and what type of ribbon I wanted to use for the corset. I had my choice of packaging ribbon of assorted colors, and metallic ribbon that could be conducted with the violet wand. I had my sights on trying it out with the violet wand so I chose a shimmering red and pink metallic ribbon. He put down a plastic sheet in case things got messy, gave me a short pep talk about what kind of sensation I might experience when the staple went in, and other preparatory information. Finally, I laid down on my back, and he proceeded to staple from below my collarbone down my breast toward my nipple.

The sensation felt like a tight pinch as the staple went in and then a quick release. He stapled down one tit and then the next. I began to breath slower, each staple an impact that crept deep inside me, the endorphins buzzed through my body. He then started lacing up the staples with ribbon, and the sensation of the ribbon tugging gently at the staples is just as amazing. After he finished I couldn't keep my hands off them. I tapped on them, tugged at the ribbon, and wiggled the stapled back in forth, exploring the sensations.

I have tried needles in the past, and they had close to no effect on me. I thought this experience would be much of the same sensation, enjoyable but not pleasurable. I found my experience to be the exact opposite. It was extremely pleasurable, and took me higher than I could have ever imagined. I wanted to share this as a way of thanking so many people who helped me along the way. The wonderful couple who sent me the staple gun and remover free of charge, as well as Mr., who let me experience something outside of my "skill set" in a safe and secure environment.