The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink
A: Fantasy and reality in relation to BDSM is the difference between daylight and twilight. Fantasy is perfection; I can be whoever I wish to be, in any period, or any setting to fulfill my sexual desires. However; in reality, play is in the present, setting is rather fixed depending on personal taste (outdoors, inside, public party), and I am as I am playing in the head space I choose.
Though it may sound mundane in comparison, real life BDSM is so deeply enriching, and exciting, that I can hardly compare it at all. Sure, I can’t be an elven princess on the outside, but I can play in that head space during role play with a partner if I choose. I explored desires and scenarios in fantasy that I wanted to experience in real life. It took me a few years to become active in the BDSM scene, but once I took the leap from fantasy to real life, I realized it is where I belong.
It all begins in fantasy. I began fantasizing about certain aspects of D/s before I ever knew the term. It took a while to become confident enough to explore real life BDSM, figure out what I really wanted, and now that I am involved in a lot of real life play, I still have fantasies that I wish to fulfill. It’s a cycle, and once a fantasy is fulfilled, I try it again, often including aspects of other fetishes I enjoy. For me, it’s about playing with my fantasies and desires to make my real life play intoxicating and satisfying.