Friday, May 27, 2011

Fantasy VS Reality

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 14

Q: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

A: Fantasy and reality in relation to BDSM is the difference between daylight and twilight. Fantasy is perfection; I can be whoever I wish to be, in any period, or any setting to fulfill my sexual desires. However; in reality, play is in the present, setting is rather fixed depending on personal taste (outdoors, inside, public party), and I am as I am playing in the head space I choose.

Though it may sound mundane in comparison, real life BDSM is so deeply enriching, and exciting, that I can hardly compare it at all. Sure, I can’t be an elven princess on the outside, but I can play in that head space during role play with a partner if I choose. I explored desires and scenarios in fantasy that I wanted to experience in real life. It took me a few years to become active in the BDSM scene, but once I took the leap from fantasy to real life, I realized it is where I belong.

It all begins in fantasy. I began fantasizing about certain aspects of D/s before I ever knew the term. It took a while to become confident enough to explore real life BDSM, figure out what I really wanted, and now that I am involved in a lot of real life play, I still have fantasies that I wish to fulfill. It’s a cycle, and once a fantasy is fulfilled, I try it again, often including aspects of other fetishes I enjoy. For me, it’s about playing with my fantasies and desires to make my real life play intoxicating and satisfying.

1 comment:

  1. I am inclined to agree with your assessment. I also think a major difference is the existence of limits. In fantasy, there are no limits. Scenes can be extreme as possible, and those subjected do not always have to be initially compliant (although they come to accept and "enjoy" being captives, as in the Ann B. Roquelaire series, or even "The Story of O."