Q: What are your hard limits?
A: When I first started out in the scene I had a multitude of hard limits. I had a narrow vision of what I wanted, some of which I had never experienced, and what I absolutely did not want. As I have grown in the lifestyle my limits have changed. I have attempted, and accepted supposed limits as what they are or modified them to my liking. For example: cutting, and bleeding used to be hard limits. After pondering my interest in knife play, and accepting the possibility of getting cut during play, I realized blood was no longer a limit for me. I accepted the risk of bleeding for my fetish.
By using a negotiation checklist I could easily scale activities from 0 (limit) to 5 (Yes!!). It made negotiation easier, and the lists are so inclusive, that I was confronted with activities/fetishes/items I found unfamiliar, such as: persona training, abrasion, and pony play. By exploring the unknowns I have found other areas of play that I enjoy, and have begun to appreciate the wide range of kinks and fetishes in the community at large.
For the most part, my hard limits have remained constant. What I define as a hard limit is an activity/fetish/item that I cannot imagine myself utilizing, or find personally harmful. When it comes to feces play, I categorize it as a hard limit because of the multitude of passable diseases that could affect my life in a harmful way. I don't want to pass judgment on those who have these interests, I only know they are not my interests. I’ve compiled a list of my hard limits for the sake of convenience:
- Brown showers (anything to do with scat)
- Diapers (wetting/soiling)
- Anal fisting
- Forced smoking (long term)
- Full head hoods
- Golden showers (anything to do with urine)
- Rimming (giving)
- Prostitution (actual)
- Body Modification (permanent)