Saturday, January 14, 2012

Leaving ChicagoLand

Leaving Chicago was one of the hardest things I have done in a long time. I didn't expect to leave with tear stained cheeks and a smile on my face. He made me cry, that was his intention, though I'm positive the situation wasn't on our agenda.

The days, hours, minutes dragged on as I became even more excited about spending the weekend with a man I felt a deep connection with. The day finally came, and I awoke at 7am, ready to go. I still had some last minute things to finish; such as packing a few items of clothing, and making sandwiches for the 6 hour drive. I finally got on the road at 9am and was already fretting about penetrating the city limits of Chicago.

The weekend started with a bang. We had bantered months ago about how I would happen into his home. I expressed I wanted to get there early to beat the Chicago traffic rush. He suggested that I come early, and that he would leave a key to let myself in. Instead of being subtle about my desires for the weekend ahead, I suggested that I wait for him to come home naked on my knees. It was decided from that moment that it would be done.

I felt naked and vulnerable in his home. I had hours to explore while he continued his work day. He sent a text stating he would be about ten minutes before he would be at the door. I prepared myself and rested on my hands and knees wearing only a pair of black patent high heels. Although I had fantasies about this for weeks, I had no idea how I would feel when I would hear his feet on the steps, the key in the lock, or his voice as he allowed himself into his home. A home I had trespassed into.

The feeling was something of a mingling of fear and bliss. His voice, a soft "hello?" as he walked through the door. I couldn't speak. I was gone by the time he closed the door behind him. My gaze stayed on the hardwood floor beneath me, but his presence washed over me in a wave of warmth. His hands easily took me to the place that I needed to be for months.

I left with a hopeful spirit. I left longing for more.

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