It’s time again to celebrate another month of Winter as well as a nauseating love fest with an EdenFantasys Gift Card Giveaway!! I’ve been working hard for months, and I am finally ready to release the rules and regulations for the EdenFantasys 100$ Post-Valentines Day Gift Card Giveaway.
That’s right! You won’t have it on or before Valentines Day, but suck it up, because you may be the proud winner of a brand new Hitachi vibrator (or whichever hot item you choose) to keep you warm during the blustery month of March!!
Info:
Throughout the month of February I will post banners in advertisement of Edenfantasys. Each post will also include information about my affiliate code (SK6). When the code is used it will gift any customer with 15% off their entire purchase.
In order to enter you must reblog a banner from Good Dollie (my Tumblr page) including all text provided. One reblog per day will be permitted. If the text is removed, or tampered with, the reblog will be excluded from my count.
To increase your chances of winning you may also send a message at any time, without limit, to my inbox at Good Dollie. Anonymous messages (even if they include your Tumblr link, blog title, etc.) will not be counted!
Stay warm!!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Leaving ChicagoLand
Leaving Chicago was one of the hardest things I have done in a long time. I didn't expect to leave with tear stained cheeks and a smile on my face. He made me cry, that was his intention, though I'm positive the situation wasn't on our agenda.
The days, hours, minutes dragged on as I became even more excited about spending the weekend with a man I felt a deep connection with. The day finally came, and I awoke at 7am, ready to go. I still had some last minute things to finish; such as packing a few items of clothing, and making sandwiches for the 6 hour drive. I finally got on the road at 9am and was already fretting about penetrating the city limits of Chicago.
The weekend started with a bang. We had bantered months ago about how I would happen into his home. I expressed I wanted to get there early to beat the Chicago traffic rush. He suggested that I come early, and that he would leave a key to let myself in. Instead of being subtle about my desires for the weekend ahead, I suggested that I wait for him to come home naked on my knees. It was decided from that moment that it would be done.
I felt naked and vulnerable in his home. I had hours to explore while he continued his work day. He sent a text stating he would be about ten minutes before he would be at the door. I prepared myself and rested on my hands and knees wearing only a pair of black patent high heels. Although I had fantasies about this for weeks, I had no idea how I would feel when I would hear his feet on the steps, the key in the lock, or his voice as he allowed himself into his home. A home I had trespassed into.
The feeling was something of a mingling of fear and bliss. His voice, a soft "hello?" as he walked through the door. I couldn't speak. I was gone by the time he closed the door behind him. My gaze stayed on the hardwood floor beneath me, but his presence washed over me in a wave of warmth. His hands easily took me to the place that I needed to be for months.
I left with a hopeful spirit. I left longing for more.
The days, hours, minutes dragged on as I became even more excited about spending the weekend with a man I felt a deep connection with. The day finally came, and I awoke at 7am, ready to go. I still had some last minute things to finish; such as packing a few items of clothing, and making sandwiches for the 6 hour drive. I finally got on the road at 9am and was already fretting about penetrating the city limits of Chicago.
The weekend started with a bang. We had bantered months ago about how I would happen into his home. I expressed I wanted to get there early to beat the Chicago traffic rush. He suggested that I come early, and that he would leave a key to let myself in. Instead of being subtle about my desires for the weekend ahead, I suggested that I wait for him to come home naked on my knees. It was decided from that moment that it would be done.
I felt naked and vulnerable in his home. I had hours to explore while he continued his work day. He sent a text stating he would be about ten minutes before he would be at the door. I prepared myself and rested on my hands and knees wearing only a pair of black patent high heels. Although I had fantasies about this for weeks, I had no idea how I would feel when I would hear his feet on the steps, the key in the lock, or his voice as he allowed himself into his home. A home I had trespassed into.
The feeling was something of a mingling of fear and bliss. His voice, a soft "hello?" as he walked through the door. I couldn't speak. I was gone by the time he closed the door behind him. My gaze stayed on the hardwood floor beneath me, but his presence washed over me in a wave of warmth. His hands easily took me to the place that I needed to be for months.
I left with a hopeful spirit. I left longing for more.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Contributions of a Perverted nature
Briefly, I would like to announce that I am now quest blogging for ChicagoPervert!
I have settled in nicely, and I would like to invite you all to read, comment, and follow my ramblings on a kink filled world with your host: Minion.
I have settled in nicely, and I would like to invite you all to read, comment, and follow my ramblings on a kink filled world with your host: Minion.
Monday, November 7, 2011
The Masochist Game
The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink
Day 18
Q: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?
A: After four years in the scene, one huge pet peeve stands out in my mind. It is one that I have struggled with myself before I became confident in my submission. That would be something I like to call the "masochist game." It's a mental mind game that submissive persons have a tendency to engage in that could result in negative emotions, unrealistic goals, and unsatisfactory play sessions.
The masochist game usually starts with a phrase, one that begins to eat away at the confidence of the submissive. For example: "I can't take as much (x) as he/she can." Or "I'm not into pain, does that make me a bad submissive?" Also, quite possibly, "I wish I could be able to take (x)." All of which could undermine confidence and self esteem as a submissive.
It takes time, experience, and practice (mentally) to understand we all have positive qualities. Those are the qualities that should be praised and highly regarded. Instead of digging at ourselves about the qualities, or pain tolerance we wish we could have, we must begin to accept submission for what it is, not what we think it should be based on what we read or see.
Day 18
Q: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?
A: After four years in the scene, one huge pet peeve stands out in my mind. It is one that I have struggled with myself before I became confident in my submission. That would be something I like to call the "masochist game." It's a mental mind game that submissive persons have a tendency to engage in that could result in negative emotions, unrealistic goals, and unsatisfactory play sessions.
The masochist game usually starts with a phrase, one that begins to eat away at the confidence of the submissive. For example: "I can't take as much (x) as he/she can." Or "I'm not into pain, does that make me a bad submissive?" Also, quite possibly, "I wish I could be able to take (x)." All of which could undermine confidence and self esteem as a submissive.
It takes time, experience, and practice (mentally) to understand we all have positive qualities. Those are the qualities that should be praised and highly regarded. Instead of digging at ourselves about the qualities, or pain tolerance we wish we could have, we must begin to accept submission for what it is, not what we think it should be based on what we read or see.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Tart in ChicagoLand
The tarty one is embarking on yet another road adventure, gleefully chaperoned by her faithful, furry side kick Britney Bear! Just two girls (technically: one girl, one bear) combing the landscape, wide eyed and bewildered, on their way to ChicagoLand.
It sounds like a fairy tale. Though the heroine of this tale is nothing like the innocently curious girl who stumbles down the rabbit hole. No, she is far less innocent, and even more curious by all Chicago has to offer.
Within 48 hours I will be in Chicago with a play friend spending a weekend away exploring new and exciting boundaries. Boundaries that may include:
Fisting
Watersports
Domestic service
Playing with sexual shame
Cigar play
Ashtray service
Forced smoke inhalation
Public masturbation
Consensual non-consent
I will be sure to indulge your curiosities when I am back in Michigan safe and sound. Also, after the major sub drop I know will occur has ceased.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wanting
Sitting here, wanting. Waiting, but nothing comes. I am only left with the shadow of who I used to be, and who I wish I were. Sitting in the dark, lights flicker from the street like the neon of some old distant movie house. Now lonely and cold like I, alone and sorrowful. I wonder some nights, like this, if tomorrow will be as gray and distant as today?
Encouraged only by longing, I seek out higher planes of existence. Only they are my comfort from this dreary, damned soul. Through experience and love can I find my way back to the soft warm touch of the sun. Only then will I understand the meaning of happiness. The lack will wither and die like winter.
Something inside is stirring, as if the eternal rays of the sun were battling the cold gray of winter. Inside, I am longing for the warm breeze and hot touch of the sun. Inside me exists sad, worn metaphors with nothing left to offer. I ache. A smile is as happy as a bruise on my aging skin. It dies as my soul dies slowly from want.
Something inside is stirring, as if the eternal rays of the sun were battling the cold gray of winter. Inside, I am longing for the warm breeze and hot touch of the sun. Inside me exists sad, worn metaphors with nothing left to offer. I ache. A smile is as happy as a bruise on my aging skin. It dies as my soul dies slowly from want.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Edenfantasys 80$ Gift Card Giveaway
Coming soon!
September 1st marks the start of my first month long contest open to all of Tumblr, not only my followers. The winner will receive an 80$ gift card to Edenfantasys, the sex shop you can trust!
Any purchase over 59$ will receive free shipping! It’s a double win!
Throughout the month of September I will post banners (^just like this^) in advertisement of Edenfantasys. It will also include information about my affiliate code (SK6). When the code is used it will gift any customer with 15% off their entire purchase.
In order to enter you must reblog a banner from Good Dollie (my Tumblr page) including all text provided. One reblog per day will be permitted. If the text is removed, or tampered with, the reblog will be excluded from my count.
To increase your chances of winning you may also send a message at any time, without limit, to my inbox at Good Dollie. Anonymous messages (even if they include your Tumblr link, etc.) will not be counted!
Are you excited? I know I am!!
September 1st marks the start of my first month long contest open to all of Tumblr, not only my followers. The winner will receive an 80$ gift card to Edenfantasys, the sex shop you can trust!
Any purchase over 59$ will receive free shipping! It’s a double win!
In order to enter you must reblog a banner from Good Dollie (my Tumblr page) including all text provided. One reblog per day will be permitted. If the text is removed, or tampered with, the reblog will be excluded from my count.
To increase your chances of winning you may also send a message at any time, without limit, to my inbox at Good Dollie. Anonymous messages (even if they include your Tumblr link, etc.) will not be counted!
Are you excited? I know I am!!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Imperfect
The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink
Day 17
Q: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?
A: BDSM is not abuse. I cannot stress that enough. It is a misconception held by many of those who do not understand it. I say: if you don’t get it, don’t like it, then don’t presume to have an opinion on it.
Odd thing about this image, I had chosen it months ago when I first started writing 30 days of kink. I never found black eyes to be particularly provocative, well not before I had one of my own, anyway. A black eye on a woman tends to be the red flag for “I’m a victim.” That is just an observation of American society, and it is a frame of mind that I gave into in the past. Especially coming from a background of abuse.
My first, and only black eye (I hope) emerged not from a fight, or abuse, but a scene. I did not intend for it to happen. It was a complete accident, and that is the truth. Yes, it was hard to ignore when I came back from the bubble of BDSM, where practically everyone knew the true story, to the haze of vanilla existence.
I felt proud, because it was epic. I felt damn lucky, because no bones were broken. I felt cautious, because I knew some if not most of the people who saw it would be thinking that I am abused. The last straw came from a stranger on Fetlife, where most of us don the umbrella slogan of “your kink is not my kink,” and move on with our lives. However, this stranger thought they would create a scene, within a scene, by announcing that the photo I had posted of my glaring statement of awesome to be abuse.
Accidents happen everywhere. In our world, precautions are taken to create a safe space for what we do, and sometimes precautions fall short. It does not mean that the scene, activity, or persons involved were unsafe. We live in an imperfect world, full of blunt objects. At some point, you’re bound to walk into one.
Day 17
Q: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?
A: BDSM is not abuse. I cannot stress that enough. It is a misconception held by many of those who do not understand it. I say: if you don’t get it, don’t like it, then don’t presume to have an opinion on it.
My first, and only black eye (I hope) emerged not from a fight, or abuse, but a scene. I did not intend for it to happen. It was a complete accident, and that is the truth. Yes, it was hard to ignore when I came back from the bubble of BDSM, where practically everyone knew the true story, to the haze of vanilla existence.
I felt proud, because it was epic. I felt damn lucky, because no bones were broken. I felt cautious, because I knew some if not most of the people who saw it would be thinking that I am abused. The last straw came from a stranger on Fetlife, where most of us don the umbrella slogan of “your kink is not my kink,” and move on with our lives. However, this stranger thought they would create a scene, within a scene, by announcing that the photo I had posted of my glaring statement of awesome to be abuse.
Accidents happen everywhere. In our world, precautions are taken to create a safe space for what we do, and sometimes precautions fall short. It does not mean that the scene, activity, or persons involved were unsafe. We live in an imperfect world, full of blunt objects. At some point, you’re bound to walk into one.
Monday, July 18, 2011
A degree of difficulty
The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink
Day 16
Q: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
A: I believe the hardest part is that I am interested in so many different aspects of the lifestyle that no one person can fulfill all of my needs. For the longest time, within the first year or so of my exploration, I lusted for the Top/Dom/Master who would fulfill all of my needs, and in turn I would serve him with pride and love.
Unfortunately, my interests vary so much that not one person can do it all. I like bondage, impact play, age play, etc., etc. For example: I met someone who was into spanking. He devoted himself to it almost completely, and had difficulty playing outside of that specific activity. So then what can I do when I want indulge in needle play? Sure, I can pool resources from the community to do it on the off time, and that is something I have done in the past, but what if my partner isn’t comfortable with that?
These are questions that plagued me. I felt guilty that I wanted to play with more than one person, to explore what I like with different personalities, and in different dynamics. It took four years until I became comfortable with non-monogamy. I’ve become comfortable with seeking out multiple play partners and often doing the same activity in different ways, or taking it a step further in intensity.
In general, individuals are pretty open to playing with other people, outside of a lasting relationship to educate, or just have fun. That isn’t an issue. However, the problem I have found is, how do I take that from an often casual play partner dynamic to a relationship, and still communicate my needs to play outside of the relationship? It’s something I have yet to be confronted by. It may be obvious by the amount of rhetorical questions in this response, that I am still not so sure myself.
Day 16
Q: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
A: I believe the hardest part is that I am interested in so many different aspects of the lifestyle that no one person can fulfill all of my needs. For the longest time, within the first year or so of my exploration, I lusted for the Top/Dom/Master who would fulfill all of my needs, and in turn I would serve him with pride and love.
Unfortunately, my interests vary so much that not one person can do it all. I like bondage, impact play, age play, etc., etc. For example: I met someone who was into spanking. He devoted himself to it almost completely, and had difficulty playing outside of that specific activity. So then what can I do when I want indulge in needle play? Sure, I can pool resources from the community to do it on the off time, and that is something I have done in the past, but what if my partner isn’t comfortable with that?
These are questions that plagued me. I felt guilty that I wanted to play with more than one person, to explore what I like with different personalities, and in different dynamics. It took four years until I became comfortable with non-monogamy. I’ve become comfortable with seeking out multiple play partners and often doing the same activity in different ways, or taking it a step further in intensity.
In general, individuals are pretty open to playing with other people, outside of a lasting relationship to educate, or just have fun. That isn’t an issue. However, the problem I have found is, how do I take that from an often casual play partner dynamic to a relationship, and still communicate my needs to play outside of the relationship? It’s something I have yet to be confronted by. It may be obvious by the amount of rhetorical questions in this response, that I am still not so sure myself.
Whoa, that was intense!
I just came back from Madtown Kinkfest in Madison, WI. It was wonderfully amazing.
I digress... during the course of the weekend, Saturday night to be exact, I managed to have an incredible scene involving some activities I had never encountered before. The theme of the scene was centered on molestation, abuse of power, and incest.
Leaving that alone (I understand that kind of play isn't for everyone, and don't want to go into specifics about the scene itself) it also involved a degree of verbal degradation, which I have never before used in play. I am usually the kind of player who enjoys encouraging, nurturing communication.
For this scene however, that kind of language would have been totally inappropriate. He used a large degree of physical force to get me to submit, and after a while, I was exhausted. I fought him as hard as I could, but even I have a breaking point. As I lay there, motionless, breathing heavy, unable to resist him any longer; he leaned in against me and whispered "right, just lay there. You can't fight anymore because you are weak, useless, worthless."
Those words in context to the scene made me feel even more ashamed at what I was letting him do to me. I was on the verge of tears several times because I indeed felt weak, but I couldn't let him see. I told myself if I let him hear or see me cry that it would motivate him to do this over and over again, that he would know he could, because I am a vulnerable, pathetic victim. It was really emotionally challenging and intense for me. It took me to a deep level of subspace that I couldn't escape.
It took a while before I could actually open my eyes and talk to him. Even then as I lay there beside him I didn't feel fully conscious. I believe the abuse of power and physical nature of the scene really got to me. I want to do this kind of play even more. I like to be active physically, and the use of force is something that I instantly fell in love with. I like the struggle, and drama of it.
I digress... during the course of the weekend, Saturday night to be exact, I managed to have an incredible scene involving some activities I had never encountered before. The theme of the scene was centered on molestation, abuse of power, and incest.
Leaving that alone (I understand that kind of play isn't for everyone, and don't want to go into specifics about the scene itself) it also involved a degree of verbal degradation, which I have never before used in play. I am usually the kind of player who enjoys encouraging, nurturing communication.
For this scene however, that kind of language would have been totally inappropriate. He used a large degree of physical force to get me to submit, and after a while, I was exhausted. I fought him as hard as I could, but even I have a breaking point. As I lay there, motionless, breathing heavy, unable to resist him any longer; he leaned in against me and whispered "right, just lay there. You can't fight anymore because you are weak, useless, worthless."
Those words in context to the scene made me feel even more ashamed at what I was letting him do to me. I was on the verge of tears several times because I indeed felt weak, but I couldn't let him see. I told myself if I let him hear or see me cry that it would motivate him to do this over and over again, that he would know he could, because I am a vulnerable, pathetic victim. It was really emotionally challenging and intense for me. It took me to a deep level of subspace that I couldn't escape.
It took a while before I could actually open my eyes and talk to him. Even then as I lay there beside him I didn't feel fully conscious. I believe the abuse of power and physical nature of the scene really got to me. I want to do this kind of play even more. I like to be active physically, and the use of force is something that I instantly fell in love with. I like the struggle, and drama of it.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Fulfilled by energy
Day 15
Inquiry: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.
Response: Flesh pull is an activity that isn’t necessarily kink related. Honestly, I am unaware of the sensation, or the motivation, but I’ve heard from those who have experienced it that it is highly emotional and filled with energy. I hope someday in the future I can look into it more, and fulfill this yearning.
I am drawn to energy that fulfills me. I enjoy hypnosis, energy play, and emotional play that is spiritually cathartic, and also a part of my growth as a human being. I believe doing a flesh pull would be a glorious part of my journey, and something I would never forget. I’ve decided to take my time, research, and look inward to find the strength to do this.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Fantasy VS Reality
The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink
Day 14
Q: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?
A: Fantasy and reality in relation to BDSM is the difference between daylight and twilight. Fantasy is perfection; I can be whoever I wish to be, in any period, or any setting to fulfill my sexual desires. However; in reality, play is in the present, setting is rather fixed depending on personal taste (outdoors, inside, public party), and I am as I am playing in the head space I choose.
Though it may sound mundane in comparison, real life BDSM is so deeply enriching, and exciting, that I can hardly compare it at all. Sure, I can’t be an elven princess on the outside, but I can play in that head space during role play with a partner if I choose. I explored desires and scenarios in fantasy that I wanted to experience in real life. It took me a few years to become active in the BDSM scene, but once I took the leap from fantasy to real life, I realized it is where I belong.
It all begins in fantasy. I began fantasizing about certain aspects of D/s before I ever knew the term. It took a while to become confident enough to explore real life BDSM, figure out what I really wanted, and now that I am involved in a lot of real life play, I still have fantasies that I wish to fulfill. It’s a cycle, and once a fantasy is fulfilled, I try it again, often including aspects of other fetishes I enjoy. For me, it’s about playing with my fantasies and desires to make my real life play intoxicating and satisfying.
Day 14
A: Fantasy and reality in relation to BDSM is the difference between daylight and twilight. Fantasy is perfection; I can be whoever I wish to be, in any period, or any setting to fulfill my sexual desires. However; in reality, play is in the present, setting is rather fixed depending on personal taste (outdoors, inside, public party), and I am as I am playing in the head space I choose.
Though it may sound mundane in comparison, real life BDSM is so deeply enriching, and exciting, that I can hardly compare it at all. Sure, I can’t be an elven princess on the outside, but I can play in that head space during role play with a partner if I choose. I explored desires and scenarios in fantasy that I wanted to experience in real life. It took me a few years to become active in the BDSM scene, but once I took the leap from fantasy to real life, I realized it is where I belong.
It all begins in fantasy. I began fantasizing about certain aspects of D/s before I ever knew the term. It took a while to become confident enough to explore real life BDSM, figure out what I really wanted, and now that I am involved in a lot of real life play, I still have fantasies that I wish to fulfill. It’s a cycle, and once a fantasy is fulfilled, I try it again, often including aspects of other fetishes I enjoy. For me, it’s about playing with my fantasies and desires to make my real life play intoxicating and satisfying.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Aftermath
The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink
Day 13
Q: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?
A: I adore the aftermath. When all is said and done; when my body is seizing, throat hoarse from screaming, cheeks stained with tears, when he takes me into his arms to hold me, tell me I am beautiful, that is all I need. Whatever happened in scene is over. It may have been magical, awful, fulfilling, but being held during that sensation of vulnerability satisfies my most basic need.
My enjoyment of intense scenes creates a need for deep emotional connection during and afterward. Aftercare is the best way to remind myself, and let someone else remind me that I am “okay,” and he isn't going to abandon me in my vulnerable state.
Day 13
Q: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?
A: I adore the aftermath. When all is said and done; when my body is seizing, throat hoarse from screaming, cheeks stained with tears, when he takes me into his arms to hold me, tell me I am beautiful, that is all I need. Whatever happened in scene is over. It may have been magical, awful, fulfilling, but being held during that sensation of vulnerability satisfies my most basic need.My enjoyment of intense scenes creates a need for deep emotional connection during and afterward. Aftercare is the best way to remind myself, and let someone else remind me that I am “okay,” and he isn't going to abandon me in my vulnerable state.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Make 'Em Laugh!
The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink
Day 12
Inquiry: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.
Response: Some dungeons like to play ‘kink-related’ music. For the most part I don’t mind it, and in some cases I love it. Even though I hardly ever use it to enhance a scene, music can really get me in the mood to play, especially if it has a deep bass. Sometimes dungeons run out of good ideas. They have Disturbed, Depeche Mode, and usually need to add a few ‘kink-related’ tracks to the mix.
That can be fun, totally appropriate, and hilarious considering the context. Such as my latest dungeon rendezvous. My partner and I were winding down from a scene. He had started untying my wrists and ankles from the spanking bench, and I was spaced out in subbie-goo land. Laying there as the track turned, P!nk’s “Raise Your Glass” started playing, and I started laughing. In my head, I thought, “seriously?” I couldn’t contain myself. He noticed the song, or my laughter, or both, and started laughing as well. Now, whenever I hear that song, I smile, and think of his bites.
Day 12
Inquiry: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.
Response: Some dungeons like to play ‘kink-related’ music. For the most part I don’t mind it, and in some cases I love it. Even though I hardly ever use it to enhance a scene, music can really get me in the mood to play, especially if it has a deep bass. Sometimes dungeons run out of good ideas. They have Disturbed, Depeche Mode, and usually need to add a few ‘kink-related’ tracks to the mix.That can be fun, totally appropriate, and hilarious considering the context. Such as my latest dungeon rendezvous. My partner and I were winding down from a scene. He had started untying my wrists and ankles from the spanking bench, and I was spaced out in subbie-goo land. Laying there as the track turned, P!nk’s “Raise Your Glass” started playing, and I started laughing. In my head, I thought, “seriously?” I couldn’t contain myself. He noticed the song, or my laughter, or both, and started laughing as well. Now, whenever I hear that song, I smile, and think of his bites.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Control
I trust him in a way that is so natural, unlike anything I have ever experienced before. We have been dating for a couple of weeks now and the anticipation is killing me. He has been teasing me all night, cupping my ass as we dance, nuzzling, whispering sweetly into my ear. My panties are already soaked and we haven’t even left the club. He got a room at the hotel for the evening where we could explore each other without the hindrance of the outside world. It would become a shelter in which our fantasies would become reality.
We have been talking about our fantasies for weeks, enough to drive me insane with wild thoughts of my hands bound, helpless, completely at his mercy. He wanted to drive me crazy. He wanted me to need him so much that I can’t stand it. The control he has over my body is baffling. I wanted to drag him out of this chaotic club and into the warm seclusion of our secret chamber.
He took my hand and smiled softly. I wish I knew what went on inside that sadistic mind of his. Slowly, he walked me out the double doors of the club and along the hallway to the metallic elevator doors. He glanced back and forth, so subtly I didn’t even notice until he pushed me up against the wall suddenly. Bewildered, I frantically looked to see if anyone had been watching. He was only looking at me, to see the fear and excitement in my eyes. He held my chin steadily in his large beautiful hand, forcing me to look up into his face. Not a word could express what he expected of me. I closed my eyes and in a fraction of a moment his lips were on mine. My thighs spread and he enveloped my body, extinguishing the space between us. I could feel his chest against mine, his pulsing cock under his jeans rubbing against my wet panties.
I heard the ding of the elevators arrival. We broke briefly, my heart pounding, eyes glazed. Not a soul spewed from the elevator. I felt as if we were the only people left on earth. Again he took me by the wrist and guided me into the elevator, pushed the button for the fourth floor, and leaned casually against the wall. I lunged at him again, wanting more sweet kisses from his soft lips. He simply said “no” in a calm manner. I pouted but complied. Standing there beside him, an eternity seemed to pass as the elevator climbed upward. He put his hand on the small of my back, softly caressing, watching me the entire time but my eyes were on the doors. They opened and I waited for him to initiate my next move. He pushed gently at my back, beckoning me to walk forward and out into the hall. We walked side my side, his hand traveling up my back toward my neck, holding me gently, his fingers gliding into my hair.
At the door to our room I waited as he unlocked the door and brought me inside. I surveyed the room as he turned the lock of the door. It made an audible click as it locked into place. Gold covered the room. It specked the duvet on the enormous king sized bed, the furniture accented with glittering golden throw pillows. Enamored by the room, I became distracted, but felt centered and whole as I felt his body against mine again. He unzipped the backing of my dress achingly slow. He kissed and caressed my shoulders, his teeth sinking in briefly, causing me to sigh and lean back against him. When he had completely unzipped the dress he circled me in his arms. His fingers clawed at the gown, now loose on my body, pushing and tugging until it fell to the floor around my stilettos.
He roamed freely now; over my almost naked body, fingering the lace of my bra, pushing against it to cup my breast, teasing the already hard nipple. His other hand rubbed at my cleft, growling warmly against my ear when he felt the wetness. “Are you ready?” he whispered. I whimpered in reply. How confident I was only an hour ago, when I thought I was in control. He makes me forget about control. It is insignificant when I am in his arms.
Let's get ethical!
The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink
Day 11
Q: What are your views on the ethics of kink?
A: Most of the time I wing it, but if there isn’t mutual pleasure within a scene or relationship, I’m not going to participate. I’ve learned over time, that it isn’t worth putting time and energy into a scene if I am not going to enjoy it. That is a rare case, but that type of negotiation begins with straight forward communication of wants, and expectations of a scene. I must admit, I am not the best at communicating what I want, but I can communicate what I don’t want. “No” is a highly effective word, and it settles things pretty quickly.
I’ve had experiences in the scene were I should have said “no,” and I didn’t. It frustrates me, but honestly; I wouldn’t know how important saying “no” is without those experiences. I believe my experiences have empowered me to recognize what is ethical for me. Cleaning up someone else’s scene is not ethical to me. Being the proverbial punching bag for someone else’s enjoyment is not ethical to me. Keeping silent when something has gone past my comfort level is not ethical to me.
On the flip side of that, I go out of my way to tell my partners that our scene was enjoyable. I let them know verbally and sometimes non verbally that the scene was enjoyable, pleasurable, and that I hope it was for them as well. The result of a negative experience tends to narrow the amount of communication I have with that person, so I make sure to communicate positive experiences, especially to the person I experience them with.
Day 11
Q: What are your views on the ethics of kink?
A: Most of the time I wing it, but if there isn’t mutual pleasure within a scene or relationship, I’m not going to participate. I’ve learned over time, that it isn’t worth putting time and energy into a scene if I am not going to enjoy it. That is a rare case, but that type of negotiation begins with straight forward communication of wants, and expectations of a scene. I must admit, I am not the best at communicating what I want, but I can communicate what I don’t want. “No” is a highly effective word, and it settles things pretty quickly.I’ve had experiences in the scene were I should have said “no,” and I didn’t. It frustrates me, but honestly; I wouldn’t know how important saying “no” is without those experiences. I believe my experiences have empowered me to recognize what is ethical for me. Cleaning up someone else’s scene is not ethical to me. Being the proverbial punching bag for someone else’s enjoyment is not ethical to me. Keeping silent when something has gone past my comfort level is not ethical to me.
On the flip side of that, I go out of my way to tell my partners that our scene was enjoyable. I let them know verbally and sometimes non verbally that the scene was enjoyable, pleasurable, and that I hope it was for them as well. The result of a negative experience tends to narrow the amount of communication I have with that person, so I make sure to communicate positive experiences, especially to the person I experience them with.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Limited
The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink
Day 10
Q: What are your hard limits?
A: When I first started out in the scene I had a multitude of hard limits. I had a narrow vision of what I wanted, some of which I had never experienced, and what I absolutely did not want. As I have grown in the lifestyle my limits have changed. I have attempted, and accepted supposed limits as what they are or modified them to my liking. For example: cutting, and bleeding used to be hard limits. After pondering my interest in knife play, and accepting the possibility of getting cut during play, I realized blood was no longer a limit for me. I accepted the risk of bleeding for my fetish.
By using a negotiation checklist I could easily scale activities from 0 (limit) to 5 (Yes!!). It made negotiation easier, and the lists are so inclusive, that I was confronted with activities/fetishes/items I found unfamiliar, such as: persona training, abrasion, and pony play. By exploring the unknowns I have found other areas of play that I enjoy, and have begun to appreciate the wide range of kinks and fetishes in the community at large.
For the most part, my hard limits have remained constant. What I define as a hard limit is an activity/fetish/item that I cannot imagine myself utilizing, or find personally harmful. When it comes to feces play, I categorize it as a hard limit because of the multitude of passable diseases that could affect my life in a harmful way. I don't want to pass judgment on those who have these interests, I only know they are not my interests. I’ve compiled a list of my hard limits for the sake of convenience:
Day 10
Q: What are your hard limits?
A: When I first started out in the scene I had a multitude of hard limits. I had a narrow vision of what I wanted, some of which I had never experienced, and what I absolutely did not want. As I have grown in the lifestyle my limits have changed. I have attempted, and accepted supposed limits as what they are or modified them to my liking. For example: cutting, and bleeding used to be hard limits. After pondering my interest in knife play, and accepting the possibility of getting cut during play, I realized blood was no longer a limit for me. I accepted the risk of bleeding for my fetish. By using a negotiation checklist I could easily scale activities from 0 (limit) to 5 (Yes!!). It made negotiation easier, and the lists are so inclusive, that I was confronted with activities/fetishes/items I found unfamiliar, such as: persona training, abrasion, and pony play. By exploring the unknowns I have found other areas of play that I enjoy, and have begun to appreciate the wide range of kinks and fetishes in the community at large.
For the most part, my hard limits have remained constant. What I define as a hard limit is an activity/fetish/item that I cannot imagine myself utilizing, or find personally harmful. When it comes to feces play, I categorize it as a hard limit because of the multitude of passable diseases that could affect my life in a harmful way. I don't want to pass judgment on those who have these interests, I only know they are not my interests. I’ve compiled a list of my hard limits for the sake of convenience:
- Asphyxiation
- Brown showers (anything to do with scat)
- Beastiality
- Diapers (wetting/soiling)
- Anal fisting
- Forced smoking (long term)
- Full head hoods
- Golden showers (anything to do with urine)
- Rimming (giving)
- Injections
- Prostitution (actual)
- Body Modification (permanent)
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
What Dollie wants, Dollie gets
The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink
Day 8
Inquiry: Post a kinky image you find erotic.
Response: This is what my Tumblr blog is all about! I post photos, related to BDSM and kink, and other media that excites me. Take a peek: Good Dollie
I believe this image greatly portrays what I want in a relationship. No matter the dynamic; whether it's 24/7, just in the bedroom, weekends, etc. I want to be Master's slave, ready and willing to succumb to his desires. I crave it.
Day 8
Inquiry: Post a kinky image you find erotic.
Response: This is what my Tumblr blog is all about! I post photos, related to BDSM and kink, and other media that excites me. Take a peek: Good Dollie
I believe this image greatly portrays what I want in a relationship. No matter the dynamic; whether it's 24/7, just in the bedroom, weekends, etc. I want to be Master's slave, ready and willing to succumb to his desires. I crave it.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
My Service Resume
The service resume. It is a resume: a culmination of talents, gifts, or traits, that I am able to offer as a submissive to a prospective dominant, top, switch, etc. It is something that is continually updated, just like a business resume. Like a business resume, references would be helpful as well. It can be simple, or elaborate, depending on personality and style. I wanted to share mine as an example, and to mark my progress.
What I am offering the dominant of my choice.
I am honest. That might be a trait that is over looked in society, but it is a value that is very important to me.
I am intelligent. I may make mistakes, but I learn quickly. I excel in mathematics, communications, and I know my way around a computer.
I love with my whole heart. I care deeply for my friends and family. Often I care so much for others that I forget to care for myself.
I make goals and I stick with them. I am still in college. I transferred to a community college after a year in an expensive private college. Even though my first attempt failed, I am still taking classes for my degree. I don’t believe anything would stop me from reaching that goal.
I am a masochistic submissive. I enjoy painful sensation as a part of my service.
I am a sexual being. In a relationship I give myself fully, sexually, and emotionally. I am also comfortable in overt and covert sexual situations.
I am detailed oriented. I follow orders and expectations set for relationships as well as play sessions.
What I am offering the dominant of my choice.
I am honest. That might be a trait that is over looked in society, but it is a value that is very important to me.
I am intelligent. I may make mistakes, but I learn quickly. I excel in mathematics, communications, and I know my way around a computer.
I love with my whole heart. I care deeply for my friends and family. Often I care so much for others that I forget to care for myself.
I make goals and I stick with them. I am still in college. I transferred to a community college after a year in an expensive private college. Even though my first attempt failed, I am still taking classes for my degree. I don’t believe anything would stop me from reaching that goal.
I am a masochistic submissive. I enjoy painful sensation as a part of my service.
I am a sexual being. In a relationship I give myself fully, sexually, and emotionally. I am also comfortable in overt and covert sexual situations.
I am detailed oriented. I follow orders and expectations set for relationships as well as play sessions.
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