The Masochist Game

The ever popular: 30 Days of Kink

Day 18

Q: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?

A: After four years in the scene, one huge pet peeve stands out in my mind. It is one that I have struggled with myself before I became confident in my submission. That would be something I like to call the "masochist game." It's a mental mind game that submissive persons have a tendency to engage in that could result in negative emotions, unrealistic goals, and unsatisfactory play sessions.

The masochist game usually starts with a phrase, one that begins to eat away at the confidence of the submissive. For example: "I can't take as much (x) as he/she can." Or "I'm not into pain, does that make me a bad submissive?" Also, quite possibly, "I wish I could be able to take (x)." All of which could undermine confidence and self esteem as a submissive.

It takes time, experience, and practice (mentally) to understand we all have positive qualities. Those are the qualities that should be praised and highly regarded. Instead of digging at ourselves about the qualities, or pain tolerance we wish we could have, we must begin to accept submission for what it is, not what we think it should be based on what we read or see.